Dateline: Saturday, January 18, 2020
Well, here we go again. Welcome to scR motorsports, the 2020 edition. I still can’t believe Dana lets me do this. Sit back and watch in wonder as this hobby continues to spiral completely out of control for another season.
Q: You’re doing this again?!?
A: Heck, yeah! After our incredibly ‘challenging’ 2019, we were left with no choice but to continue. You can’t end on a note like that. And as Zack predicted at the end of last season, the Law of Large Numbers indicates that our podium appearances will have some serious regression to the mean in 2020.
Q: What the heck does that mean?
A: The teenager explained it to you last year.
Q: Yes, but refresh my memory, please.
A: It means that we used up all of our bad luck in 2019, so in 2020 we should be all good. His AP Stats teacher would be proud of me right now.
A collage of bad luck (and negative cash flow). Here’s to putting that all behind us in 2020.
Q: I heard you got interviewed by Sportscar365 at the end of last season. Is that true?
A: Yes! Obviously they were desperate for material and needed to fill the content void between Christmas and the end of the year, but nevertheless you can read it for yourself by clicking on this link. Just don’t forget to come back when you’re finished. I’ll patiently wait here until you’re done reading it.
<I’m now waiting patiently for you to read it>
Q: Ok. I’m back. Wow. So will you be racing in TCR again next season?
A: Unfortunately, not.
Q: Will you continue racing under the Risi Competizione banner?
A: Maybe in the future, but not for 2020.
Q: My brow is currently furrowed. Explain, please.
A: I need to start by clearly stating that I loved racing in TCR, I loved that little Giulietta, and I could not have been more pleased during my time with Risi. Who could ask for anything more? While the racing gods were clearly angered in 2019, that doesn’t taint any of the incredibly fond memories I have of last season. From the awesome camaraderie on the TCR grid to the whine of the straight-cut gears in the Sadev sequential transmission to the family environment in the big red trailer, 2019 was a very special year for team scR.
Q: Then why are you changing things up?
A: Simply because I got an offer I could not refuse.
Q: So somebody is paying you to race this season?
A: Don’t be silly. I didn’t say I was visited by a magical racing unicorn.
Q: Well then you need to do some more explaining. What’s in store for 2020?
A: I can’t tell you yet.
Q: Why not?
A: Because it’s a huge secret.
Q: Let me get this straight – you write a season-opening newsletter but can’t tell us anything?
A: Well, not yet anyhow. The team is planning a ‘Grand Reveal’ press release following Daytona at the end of the month. I’m sure it will be revealing. And pressing.
Q: Well, at least leak us a little something. This is an exclusive mailing list, after all.
A: Hmmm…let me think about that.
I can probably safely tell you that I am moving into SRO’s GT4 class. And that I will be behind the wheel of a racecar built by a company that is headquartered in Munich, Germany. In fact, here’s a teaser photograph, cleverly cropped to obscure your ability to tell just what exactly it is.
The Secret Car.
Q: That’s obviously a BMW.
A: Maybe. Maybe not. Perhaps that’s just what I WANT you to think. But let’s just call it ‘The Secret Car’ for a while, ok?
Q: Is The Secret Car a step up from the Giulietta? GT4 should be faster, right?
A: Absolutely. The Secret Car weights about 3,278 pounds and makes about 431 horsepower. Like TCR, GT4 is a worldwide homologation. Cars can compete around the globe, all built to the same specifications. Performance is ‘balanced’ through adjustments to weight and horsepower. Competition includes the likes of the Chevrolet Camaro, the Ford Mustang, the McLaren 570S, the Porsche Cayman, the Audi R8, and a few others I can’t either 1) recognize or 2) pronounce.
Q: Which GT4 category will you be racing in?
A: Good question. SRO has two different categories for GT4 cars. The first is called ‘Sprint’ and consists of 50-minute races with a single driver. The second category is called ‘SprintX’ and consists of 60-minute races with a driver change mid-race. The plan is to complete in the ‘SprintX’ category in 2020 for the entire eight-weekend SRO SprintX season. There are 16 races in total.
Q: So you will be sharing the car with a teammate?
A: I can’t tell you. It’s a super-huge secret.
Q: Come on. I promise I won’t tell anybody!
A: Ok. Fine. I’ll be sharing a car with ***REDACTED***.
Q: No shit?
A: Watch your language. But no shit.
Q: You’re sharing a car with ***REDACTED***?!? That’s freaking awesome!
A: Yes. Yes, it is. It will be even more awesome when I actually get to tell you who it is.
Q: That’s pretty big news. Which team will be supporting you in this effort?
A: I can’t tell you. It’s a super-duper-huge secret.
Q: We have to go through this again?
A: Ok. Fine. I’ll be driving a car prepared by ***REDACTED***.
Q: That’s not funny the second time. Just one hint, please?
A: Well, only if you promise not to post this on Insta-tweet or Face-tagram. It’s a super-duper-huge secret after all.
Q: I promise!
A: Well, in that case, we are racing with…drum roll, please…immorworl. There you go. Cat’s out of the bag. Happy?
The Secret Team.
Q: Ummm…immorworl? Who, or what, the heck is that?
A: It’s a clue. Or bad Photoshop. Or perhaps both. But I’m not spilling anything else. We are going to call The Secret Team ‘immorworl’ until I get the green light from the mothership which may or may not be located in Dublin, Virginia.
You can’t see it, but I just crossed my arms for dramatic effect.
Q: It sounds more like a bad rack in Scrabble than a professional race team.
A: Apparently you are not a propeller head. You see, at this point in the newsletter there are a number of people who know exactly who scR motorsports will be racing with in 2020. And the rest of you are wondering what propeller heads are and why they shop at immorworl.
Q: Fine. Let’s switch gears. Do you have a car number reserved yet? Or is that a huge secret too?
A: I am told that The Secret Car being prepared by immorworl will be wearing number 34 proudly on its doors and hood. Boom. Didn’t see that one coming, did you?
Q: Texas flag on the roof?
A: Currently under heated debate with immorworl. But not looking good.
Q: Hello Kitty Duct Tape?
A: Up in the air. Being used as leverage (if that’s even possible) with immorworl in the heated Texas flag debate.
A: Working on it. Accepting applications at this window! Heck, I’ll accept an application anywhere. The Secret Car isn’t going to pay for itself. Remember, I wasn’t visited by a magical racing unicorn.
Q: Let’s talk logistics. When and where will the first race be held?
A: Like last year, the 2020 SRO SprintX season kicks off at the Circuit of the Americas on March 7th and 8th. If you’re anywhere close to the Austin area, you should come out and join us at the track. Historically, COTA has been very, very good to us, and it’s always a blast to share the event with the hometown crowd.
Q: Is there a timetable for the weekend posted online yet?
A: Amazingly, yes! Although it is most certainly subject to change, the preliminary schedule shows that we will be racing on Saturday the 7th at 12:15 PM and again on Sunday the 8th at 9:55 AM. But don’t be surprised if that link is updated – more than once – by the time you click on it.
Q: Will the races be streamed live like last year?
A: I suppose so, but that information will have to follow at a later date. I can’t find it anywhere online yet. It’s also entirely possible that it will be broadcast on the SRO YouTube channel. But that’s the extent of my knowledge of the subject at this time.
Q: What other tracks are on the calendar?
A: In order, we have COTA (March), Streets of Long Beach (April), Lime Rock (May), VIR (June), Sonoma (August), Road America (August), Watkins Glen (September), and Indianapolis (October). It’s a solid lineup. If you click here you can see the details and specific dates for each event. You really ought to come out to join us this season!
Q: Are you disappointed that St. Pete isn’t on the SprintX schedule?
A: Too soon, man. Too soon.
Q: Anything else you are able to share with us at this time?
A: By the time immorworl pushes their ‘Grand Reveal’ press release out the door, teamscR.com should be updated with all of this information and more. The team at ODDS Marketing continues to design, develop, and maintain the site for us, and it’s only going to get better as the season progresses. GT4 photos, videos, and newsletters coming soon to a browser near you!
Q: That begs the question: will the teenager be generating material this season?
A: Quite possibly. I don’t want to speak for him, but because he is preparing to journey off to college this summer (wrap your head around that for a minute, long-time readers), the frequency of his musings may be limited.
The teenager, before he started writing sarcastic newsletters. This was quality parenting, circa 2002.
Q: Closing question – isn’t today your birthday?
A: Absolutely. Thanks for remembering. Your card hasn’t shown up yet, but then again, I haven’t checked the mailbox this morning.
Q: And how old are you again?
A: ***REDACTED***. But still young enough to chase the SRO GT4 SprintX Championship in 2020.
See you at the track!